Sunday, May 14, 2006

Monday, May 14, 2036

Senate (Up 116.90 points at 298,131.3) fails attempted CIA leadership block

Wall Street

The United States Senate has failed to block security firm, SECI’s (Secure Enterprise Compound Incorporated) bid to gain control of the Central Intelligence Agency, sources say. After an optimistic day on the market, the Senate was still unable to convince investors of the potential risks of recent corruption allegations against SECI, America’s Hope For A More Stable Future.

In a Senate multicast, CEO Ron Schaefer said, “The wellbeing of the American market is clearly not going to be aided by SECI taking over the CIA. The agency itself has countless media files indicating that this corporation is in direct negotiation with the Chinese regime…”

The security firm refutes involvement with Chinese interests. “Our ship is run tight as a rubber band. Our Chinese shareholders have all purchased a Pledge Of Allegiance in accordance with due procedure.” Said Graham Selton, a company spokesperson.

“We represent the same thing American investors and citizens want: security.”

Certain members of the Senate, however, point to Exxon-Disney-TimeWarner’s recent controversial purchase of the Territory of Taiwan as evidence of subsidiary company, SECI’s unpatriotic intentions. “SECI have trading stock not only in various divisions of Exxon-Disney-TimeWarner’s Taiwan project, but have published plans to bid in Kazakhstan’s nation security system. The American market won’t stand for this!” Carl Russel, Ohio Senator said.

SECI spokespeople deny allegations of wrongdoing.

The Senate, Serving America Since 1787, has released various multicasts urging American investors to choose a different company to head the 2036-38 CIA term.

SECI agents are set to take over command at the Freedomgon and the Libertyplex next Friday.

American markets have been holding steady since the decision, with the DOW Jones up 346.80 points at 517,987,413,706.9.

CubeSender, BBCNN News(cast/BBCNN/infotainmentfiles)