Tuesday, May 30, 2006

More Futurenews

Nets Glitches Reach New Peak

Tuesday, May 16, 2036

This past Sunday at midnight saw what experts believe to be the largest yet-recorded of the net phenomenon known popularly as ‘The Ghost’ and ‘Mr. Internet’ among other names. A large corporate database, property of a UK produce distributor, was formatted and replaced with information consisting mostly of garble. A flight was also accidentally redirected from Buenos Aires to Singapore. Media experts and analytical programmers are currently analyzing the data-anomalies detected during the event.

Scientific Controversy

Many technical experts and scientists attribute these “emergent phenomena” to the wildly mushrooming amount of information being sent around the world’s media structure. Some theorize that as communications, or ‘commands’ on the nets increase in volume, many program-directives conflict, causing errors on major systems. These errors then compile like snowballs in certain circumstances, according to certain studies.

Researchers at a university in Beijing have applied decay-rate algorithms from rotting wheat to graphs of the frequency of the events. The researchers involved claim to have made significant findings. The scientific community at large remains skeptical. Some of the world’s senior science leaders, including several Nobel Prize laureates, have claimed that these events will continue to increase in frequency and size until data on the nets becomes largely unmanageable.

A locally celebrated Italian mathematician has developed a controversial equation that relates the sizes and ‘tempo’ of the events to the Golden Mean.

(viewlink: Italian Mathematician Claims Golden Mean Explains Internet “Intelligence”)

Pop Icon Status

The “Mr. Internet” craze, popularized by German Artist, Cristoph Burensen in the mid twenties, has seen its strongest boom yet in response to Sunday’s event. Netsofiles and casual users alike have rejoiced about some of the bizarre, often comical effects of the events, or ‘moodswings’.

“I got an eighteen foot… well, dildo sent to my house on Wednesday!” Said a surprised and somewhat embarrassed Schoolteacher in Brantford, Ontario, CanadaWest.

“It’s fantastic fun. He’s really starting to think, like in the Sci-files.” Said a British Mr. Internet fan. “The kids love it. I got them all Mr. Internet Detectionware for their wristtops. Nobody believes in Santa Clause or Jesus anymore, do they? They’ve got to have some mystery in their lives.”

Not All Fun

Many involved parties are concerned about the potential danger of the anomalies. Markets have already been hit in certain sectors, most notably in single-site datastorage networks. One business has filed bankruptcy over the loss of their infodomains. The insurance industry has jumped on the phenomenon, with ‘Ghostbuster’ software-protection plans already available.

Recently reopened SETI’s massive “AI Detection Lab” has billions of NCU’s invested in the search for ‘The Ghost in the Machine.’

Cubesender, BBCNN News (BBCNN/infotainmentfiles)